Da un po’ sono a caccia di lettere di referenze per piazzare qua e là domande di dottorato. La migliore, fin’ora, mi arriva dal Dott. Marco Sgrignoli dell’Università del Pavè, e mi pregio di renderla pubblica.
It is my deepest pleasure to recommend Mr. Andrea Franceschini for admission to the Doctorate program in Computer Science at Scuola del Dottorrato di stuff of the University of Dude.
I met Andrea in yadda yadda, when he was bla bla bla, and I was severely struck by his impressive charm as a man and researcher. I have been closely following his thesis work and the more I spent my time with him, the more my admiration and sincere wonder grew. Day after day, not only he demonstrated his masterful research skills, motivation, inventive, and autonomy, but he also proved his eagerness to transmit the aforementioned qualities to his fellow researchers and his teachers. In the very short timespan of a few months, he could achieve goals that, in my opinion, outranked the limits of human intelligence as we knew it before.
Andrea is enthusiastic about his work, and he is a voraciously knowledge-eager person that is never scared of taking an idea to its outer limits, supporting it with brilliant arguments, perfused with the wisest doctrine of the Elders, involving topics that range from the infinitely large to the insignificantly small and cover, inbetween, the whole cosmos as it is known – perhaps – only to God Almighty. This, together with his dedication to his work, means he is able to produce masterpieces of wood, crystal and genuine gold. He is determined and focused, and at the same time an unbelievable moron: these two daringly oxymoronic sides of his being are the foundation of a neverending Yin/Yang conflict which never I saw to reach such a perfect equilibrium as in his adamantine soul. Despite his poor conoissance of the basic principles of human language, Andrea is always looking forward to expand his vocabulary by exploiting a wide range of media, such as dictionaries for children, for pre-teens and even for adults. He is constantly researching new topics of interest, as well as new technologies, and is keen on collaborating with colleagues as a means of having sexual intercourse – which, you will promptly understand, is quite of an unprecedented experience for a full-fledged seraphim as he certainly must be.
In summary, Andrea Franceschini shows all the qualities that make a perchance mediocre PhD student – but undoutbfully a portentous purchase to impress your guests: he has decent motivation, is moderately inventive, and confident enough not to be a waste of space. As an ornament for your finely inlaid furniture, he will nimbly overreach any. He will bother you not with inopportune considerations upon life (I can assure he does not have one), or how he is spending his day: he will just bore you stiff with pointless complaints about Operating Systems, Twitter accounts, university stuff and so. Just ignore this side of his otherwise divine personality, and limitate your interventions to slapping him round a bit with a large trout if his grievances get asphyxiating. Once he has understood how to behave and keep at his place, he will show he does have a vision and is driven by a steady need for food – which you would have better hide from him in some well-locked vessel (his overwhelming olfaction and talent for jelly rolls will not cease to flabbergast you!). I feel that Andrea has the discipline, interest, and pizzazz that Your program requires galore, and I am certain that, if accepted, he will, once more, well, y’know.